Home Alone - it's not like the movies!

Last night, my SO had to go out of town for work...so he told me I should call my sister so that she could come over and keep me company, which I normally do. But this time, I informed him that I don't need a chaperone and that it'd be nice to have some alone time. I too still have my SSB (secret single behavior) and it was about time I indulged!

Or so I thought! I tried so hard to focus on getting some work done at home on a few solo projects I have in the works, but I couldn't help but look over my shoulder every 5 minutes so that I could see the potential robber/murderer that would be sneaking up on me any minute. I mean, I want to at least go down with a fighting chance.

So I did what any chick home alone would do - I ran to the kitchen and got a steak knife...not the kind that looks all pretty in the wood chopping block either. I'm talking about the 6 piece for $5.95 on sale at Sears. So, I take the semi-sharp slender steak knife and put it under my pillow...as if I could really do some damage.

So, then I turned the TV on and tried to watch The Notebook (which makes me teary-eyed), The Island (which is kick-ass), and She Hate Me (too odd if you don't like Spike Lee movies), but to no avail. None of these films took away the feeling that someone was over my shoulder watching me!

I figured I may as well die well-hydrated, so I went to the kitchen to get a cup of water. When I turned on the faucet, I looked out my window to see a big, yellow tabby cat looking right back at me as he/she lay on my deck's railing!Talk about FREAKED OUT!

I ran to the living room, turned to Family Guy...and tried to forget the creepy feeling...but in the end, I broke down and called my SO at 2:30am, when I knew he had to be up for work in 4 hours...but I didn't worry too much because I'm sure he'd rather me not be killed by a big yellow tabby cat who had been casing the house.

Of course, when I call him, he sounds somewhere between the asleep and almost dead...so I tell him about the cat anyway, for my own sake, and then let him know h's oficially off-duty for the night as my call-in bodyguard, and that he should go to bed. And I casually fall asleep at 3am watching Futurama...now I know why he likes it so much...it takes zero effort to get the jokes.

So, all in all, the cat didn't murder me, and the 5 hours of sleep were just enough so that I don't look like I got wasted the night before. But damn, I thought I would've been better at being home alone. It's SO not like it is in the movies.

P.S. The SO texted me this morning and said "Make it through the nite? We'll get that cat later!" He thinks he's so funny...let HIM do it.

Shackin' Lesson # 3 - When staying home alone, forget the steak knife...call a girlfriend and have a romantic comedy, drunken fiesta and remember all the dangerously great fun you used to have together (or just go out to a nightclub and pretend you're semi-single again...what?! It doesn't hurt to get the flattery...it makes it better for the SO when he comes back home. ;-)

Bored, but not boring

Okay, girls. Lately, I've been guilty of being bored with everything I do and the easiest target to blame is my SO, of course! But, oddly enough, though I'm bored...I'm never boring. That's why when I'm bored, I rally my most fabulous girls and we hit the town for a night of drinking, dancing, and having a fabulous fucking time. The only thing is that it's incredibly tiring to keep up this shannanigan for more than 5 weeks...yes, 5. That's my party limit - after 5 weeks in a row of partying, I have to take a TO (time out).

So, what do you do when you're bored? Other than complain to my SO that we NEVER do anything anymore...I pretty much always decide to find a new hobby. See, finding a new hobby gets you out of the house and makes you learn something new. Whether it's wedding planning, taking a real estate course or joining a softball league, just pick something! I guarantee you're life's excitement meter will rise at least 2 points. And if it doesnt, well, at least you've tried something new.

Oh, and don't forget to lay off the SO for a weekend...they can't have it all....but we can. :-)

Shackin' Lesson # 2 - Never fear when boredom appears...get it right and do something new in your life! SO's attendence is not necessary.

Different types of love

After living with someone for a couple of years, sometimes you feel like you've heard every single thing that person has to say. Ironically, with women, we never hear enough about how our significant other feels. Unless you're gay. In which case, feelings are always the topic of the conversation.

Last night, my SO (significant other) and I started talking about the different types of love. No, he's not gay...we were prompted into this discussion because my brother's ex/girlfriend (sometimes she's his ex, sometimes she's not...depends on the day) was telling us about her problems with him.

So, my SO and I started talking about what love is, and he had the unmitigated gall to say that his model for "love" is absolute and true. Meaning that his mother showed him the perfect model of love because her love was unconditional and sacrificial (i.e. she put her loved ones' needs before her own). Now, I believe she was a great role model for what love is. How-eva...my role model of love wasn't less great just because it was different from his (he disagrees).

My mother raised us to be very affectionate and loving, through all of the fights, biting matches, and hair-pullout sessions (5 kids, 1 apartment...it can get rough.). But, my mother was going through a divorce when we were young kids, so we all kind of raised each other and helped each other through tough times. Point being, the way that I communicate and receive love is by being supportive, affectionate, and communicative. This role model of love is just as great as his...it's just different.

During the course of this conversation, something clicked in my mind -- "How are we going to last if we communicate love in different ways?" My SO admits that he communicates his love by being dutiful, i.e. doing things to help me whenever he sees a need. Now, if my oil needs changing and he goes and gets it changed, I just think "Oh, that's sweet"....but it doesn't scream "OH MY GOSH! HE REALLY REALLY LOVES ME!" To some women, it might...to me...it's like, he was in my car and near an oil changing station...good call.

What I'd rather him do, sometimes, is TALK to me about our relationship...our future...and tell me how much I mean to him. Corny, maybe, but I NEVER hear this stuff. After living together, you get in a routine and these types of conversations don't seem to come up in between eating dinner, watching TV, and falling asleep on the couch.

So, after having that quick panic attack in my own head, I told myself "chill out...this is good...we're communicating...so just listen." After the conversation was over, I realized that we don't have to communicate our love the same way all the time. As long as there are moments that we do communicate love in the way the other person needs, it'll carry us over to the next time we do it.

The hardest task in living with someone is being able to be yourself and not kill him for being himself. And hey, he's alive and well today. So, I'd say we've crossed that bridge.

Shackin' Lesson #1 - When shackin', don't forget that you two are two totally different people with independent thoughts and experiences and you can't hold it against each other. You can only try to understand each other (i.e. When arguing/disagreeing, put yourself in his shoes and chill out...it's not the end of your relationship.)

Welcome to my blog. I'm Ms. Shackin'. This blog came about because of all of the lessons I've learned, issues I've had to deal with, and people who don't quite understand that shackin' is the new relationship step that occurs after dating but before marriage...and it's not a bad thing.

So, yes, I'm shackin' with my boyfriend in our beautful house. It's great, but it's also a whirlwhind of trial and error (anyone who lives with their significant other knows what I'm talking about).

So, take the journey with me through living the life of a shacker...shackin' up with your mate...and let's laugh, cry, and party together through this wonderful thing we called love.

- Ms. Shackin'