Shackin'

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Home Alone - it's not like the movies!

Last night, my SO had to go out of town for work...so he told me I should call my sister so that she could come over and keep me company, which I normally do. But this time, I informed him that I don't need a chaperone and that it'd be nice to have some alone time. I too still have my SSB (secret single behavior) and it was about time I indulged!

Or so I thought! I tried so hard to focus on getting some work done at home on a few solo projects I have in the works, but I couldn't help but look over my shoulder every 5 minutes so that I could see the potential robber/murderer that would be sneaking up on me any minute. I mean, I want to at least go down with a fighting chance.

So I did what any chick home alone would do - I ran to the kitchen and got a steak knife...not the kind that looks all pretty in the wood chopping block either. I'm talking about the 6 piece for $5.95 on sale at Sears. So, I take the semi-sharp slender steak knife and put it under my pillow...as if I could really do some damage.

So, then I turned the TV on and tried to watch The Notebook (which makes me teary-eyed), The Island (which is kick-ass), and She Hate Me (too odd if you don't like Spike Lee movies), but to no avail. None of these films took away the feeling that someone was over my shoulder watching me!

I figured I may as well die well-hydrated, so I went to the kitchen to get a cup of water. When I turned on the faucet, I looked out my window to see a big, yellow tabby cat looking right back at me as he/she lay on my deck's railing!Talk about FREAKED OUT!

I ran to the living room, turned to Family Guy...and tried to forget the creepy feeling...but in the end, I broke down and called my SO at 2:30am, when I knew he had to be up for work in 4 hours...but I didn't worry too much because I'm sure he'd rather me not be killed by a big yellow tabby cat who had been casing the house.

Of course, when I call him, he sounds somewhere between the asleep and almost dead...so I tell him about the cat anyway, for my own sake, and then let him know h's oficially off-duty for the night as my call-in bodyguard, and that he should go to bed. And I casually fall asleep at 3am watching Futurama...now I know why he likes it so much...it takes zero effort to get the jokes.

So, all in all, the cat didn't murder me, and the 5 hours of sleep were just enough so that I don't look like I got wasted the night before. But damn, I thought I would've been better at being home alone. It's SO not like it is in the movies.

P.S. The SO texted me this morning and said "Make it through the nite? We'll get that cat later!" He thinks he's so funny...let HIM do it.

Shackin' Lesson # 3 - When staying home alone, forget the steak knife...call a girlfriend and have a romantic comedy, drunken fiesta and remember all the dangerously great fun you used to have together (or just go out to a nightclub and pretend you're semi-single again...what?! It doesn't hurt to get the flattery...it makes it better for the SO when he comes back home. ;-)

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